Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Princess Pornography

I have been thinking about the unrealistic standards that the Disney Princesses have set for me!  Living here in the real world, I should not expect to have a 12 inch waist, long perfect legs and gorgeous hair that falls in perfect waves to my waist.  Don't get me wrong, Princesses and fairy tales have their place.  I read a quote a while back that says something to the effect of "Fairy tales don't teach children that monsters are real.  Children know monsters exist.  Fairy tales teach children that monsters can be defeated." Or something like that.  I think that sense of wonder and fear of the unknown and confidence that good will triumph are healthy things for a child's development.  I think the flaw comes from adolesence to adulthood when young women see themselves as princesses and are waiting for their Prince Charming to whisk them away to a castle and a life of leisure.  Just as half naked women posing in skimpy clothes and gyrating in smutty movies create an unrealistic view of a healthy relationship for men, so do romance novels and princesses for women.  How can the average woman compete with the silicone, bottle blond starring in an online video? How then can the average man compete with the white knight riding up on his faithful charger to rescue the damsel in distress and worship her in a castle happily ever after.  I catch myself occasionally comparing my husband to Flynn Rider or Prince Eric or any host of other cartoon males and have to stop myself.  It is so unfair of me to set him up to fail!  I learned long ago that if I want flowers for valentines day or a date night, I need to just tell him and he'll do it!  He is not a mind reader and he is romantic in his own way, but if we are going to both get what we want from the relationship, we have to communicate our needs to eachother.  And when he does pull a Prince Charming on me every now and then, I appreciate it all the more!

Indecision

I haven't posted for a long time.  It just seemed like life was getting away from me.  My family has been in something of a holding pattern for a while and we've finally come to a crossroads.  I have deferred a lot to my husband to make some decisions regarding career and moving and children.  I have noticed how aggrivating indecision can be.  I'm sure other people have felt the same. But I'm also pondering what causes such longstanding bouts of indecision.  In my heart of hearts, I believe that indecision comes from not having yet heard the possibility that truly solves your problem.  We have vascillated between renting, buying, adopting, fostering, Coronado, La Mesa.... The decisions are endless.  And neither of us were making any real steps in persuing any of the presented options.  I think it is a spiritual issue.  That little voice inside us, our conscience, our inner light, whatever you want to call it, that part of us knows what we should do. Once we find that pathway that is right for us, if we are attentive, our own nature will tell us it's right and to move forward.  I've seen this over and over in my life and it seems that when life gets crazy, it's harder to heed our little voice inside.  If we take time to relax and reconnect with ourselves, we will find the answer.